I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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