She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
