it hurts more in the daytime
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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