I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
