david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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