So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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