Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
