we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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