No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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