I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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