O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
