Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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