i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
