why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
