Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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