Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
