I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
