So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
