I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
