you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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