when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
