i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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