Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
