hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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