people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
