i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Actions speak louder than pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
