FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're like the curious george of whores
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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