Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
