This girl is more easily done than said...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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