sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
