i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
