I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
