I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I got inside last night via doggy door
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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