Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
