I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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