Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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