she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Im part way to drunk.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
