Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
