Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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