i wish my penis had a tongue
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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