Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
