do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
