Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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