Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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