I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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