So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just pee around me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
