So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
