My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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