The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize