I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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