I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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