I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
