So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
