Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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