Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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