This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
