I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
