With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
